Something to think about....

The Dalai Lama, in answer to the question 'What surprises you most about humanity?', answered:

"Man.. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."

Quote by Victor Frankl, Concentration camp survivor

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms--to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."

Wise kid's proverbs! By Tracey Vale

Students from a primary class were given the first portion of well-known proverbs and were asked to complete them. These were some of the results and were sourced from the book The Mammoth Book of Humor, by Geoff Tidballs, Carroll and Graff Publishers, Inc., 2000:

• A penny saved is.....not much.
• When the blind leadeth the blind.....get out of the way.
• Two's company, three's.....the Musketeers.
• Where there's smoke there's.....pollution.
• Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and.....you have to blow your nose.
• None are so blind as.....Helen Keller.
• An idle mind is.....the best way to relax.
• Love all, trust.....me.
• You can't teach an old dog new.....math.
• A miss is as good as.....a Mr.
• You get out of something what you.....see pictured on the box.
• If at first you don't succeed.....get new batteries.
• Children should be seen and not.....spanked.
• Happy the bride who.....gets all the presents.
• If you lie down with the dogs you'll.....stink in the morning.
• The pen is mightier than....the pigs.
• Don't bite the hand that.....looks dirty.
• No news is.....impossible.
• Never underestimate the power of.....termites.
• It's always darkest before.....daylight savings time.
• Strike while the.....bug is close.
• Look before you....run into a pole.
• People in glass houses.....shouldn't run around naked.
• Too many cooks.....so few meals.

Seller Beware: online car buyers using PayPal fraudulently, By Tracey Vale

On the first day that we advertised our car for sale through http://www.carsales.com.au/, I received a text message on my mobile from an interested buyer. She left her 'personal' email address and asked that I email a reply.

I was not near a computer at the time, so I texted back, only to have the operation disallowed. Later, I emailed her the following:

'Hi Katy, Yes, the car is available. Email me any questions.' The email address was to a Katerine Sanders at a yahoo address. She had signed off as 'Katy' in her text message.

Her response began with a 'Hey', with no reference to my name. We later realised that this was a generic letter and not a personal response. This email went as follows:

"Thanks for the prompt response.

"I will like to know more about its condition and possibly have more pictures of it I will be very glad to have more pictures of it. Do as well advise on the least amount you will like to give it away. I will be very glad to conclude this as soon as possible.

"Due to the nature of my work, I will not be able to come for the inspection,because am presently out of the country. I will be handling the pick up of this merchandise through a legitimate shipping agent.. The vehicle will be picked up after you receive the full payment, so i really need to know the mode of payment because i need this vehicle urgently. Hope to read from you asap.

"Thanks again and hope to hear from you soon.

Katy."

Now at this point I'm thinking: why does she need more pictures? There are 14 available with our advertisement. She has also asked about the price, which has also been clearly stated. In my return email, I tell her the price and explain why I think this is fair based on a car-yard evaluation. I also ask what other photos she might require.

Her response, which includes thanking me for telling her that the vehicle has not been in any accidents (which it hasn't but I did not say this), was as follows:

"Thanks for sending me more information about the car. It was really of immense help.  I am glad to know that the car is of a good mechanical condition and has not had any accident in the past. Your sincerity is something I see very necessary to appreciate. Thanks a lot.

"I have actually tried to get this car here earlier from here but most of the ones I got either have one huge mechanical fault or the other and some have even had accidents in the past while some are extremely exhorbitant.

"I could have come and inspect the car and then pay you in cash,but i can't due to the nature of my work.I am an oceanographer, i am at sea right now..I am actually trying to get this car for my first son will be adding a year to his age in about 3 weeks as he has always been a fan of this car.  So I think its worth paying whatever the shipping charges will be just to put a laughter on his face.

As to the price, I will offer you $14k. So if you deem the offer good enough, I will be very glad to make the payment asap through my PayPal account as I am currently offshore and I won't definitely be able to make it to my bank to make bank wires across to you.

"As to shipping, you need not worry yourself about how the car will get to him in Malaysia as I will contact a shipping company that has their headquarter situated in Malaysia and they will handle the pick up and shipping.Please note that i will not be needing the vehicle registration because it will be invalid over there so please remove the registration.. I will however be needing your contact address to be able to get the shipping quote from the shipping company.

"Do get back to me asap with your PayPal Email address and Full name so that I can remit the payment asap.

Cheers,

Katy"

Firstly, it seemed strange that she would purchase a seven-seater for her son, but then--maybe he's not as young as I'm imagining. So I let that slide.

Secondly, if she is so wealthy that she doesn't care what it costs to ship a car from Australia to Malaysia, why doesn't she buy him a brand new car? Her excuse is that her son has always loved this car--it is a white station wagon! Alright, the front lights are fancy, making it a unique-looking station wagon....

Thirdly, she is offshore and therefore claims this as the reason that she can't get to a bank and can only use PayPal. Also, she is claiming urgency by using the son's birthday as an excuse.

Fourth, she is offering $1000 more than the asking price--unheard of when selling a used car.

And my fifth concern was when she stated "most of the ones I got either have one huge mechanical fault or the other and some have even had accidents in the past." I think: what does she mean "most of the ones I got"? Does this mean she has some means of returning the vehicle if she doesn't like it, and would she be protected in doing so by PayPal? I think not but I am curious as to what she intends to get out of this if she is not a legitimate buyer.

This leads me to Google. I type in the search 'PayPal car purchase scam' and a multitude of matching results appear from forums to articles. All detail the same type of email approach with the same reasons as to why the purchaser can't get to a bank and why the purchase is urgent.

Those bitten by this scam have lost around $750 to $7500. Victims of the lesser amount had been asked by the fraudulent purchaser to pay the shipping cost to a Western Union Bank, claiming that they had paid this amount by raising the offer on the car. The seller was told that PayPal would not release the money unless this shipping fee was paid.

With just a brief look, it appears that victims have been scammed since 2009 from the U.K., New Zealand and Australia. Boats, motorcycles, trailers and horse floats have also been targetted items.

An article from Auckland's Manawatu Standard, states that a New Zealand woman was humiliated by the fact that she had fallen prey to the scam but wanted others to be made aware. She could not afford the $750 she lost just before Christmas and it meant that her children had to go without.

She said that the exchange of emails had given her a false sense of trust. It seems to me, from reading the forum complaints, that women may have been particularly targetted.

Another name given as the buyer, was Susan Owen and another was Rose Kelly. A Mark Smith has also been used. I believe women's names are being used in these transactions with other women as a means of building trust, as well as the use of the mother-son relationship.

It should be mentioned that letters from PayPal to the seller were fraudulent and were not sent from PayPal's offices. PayPal has since placed limitations on their system and have listed scam types to be aware of on their website. (See their advice below.)

PayPal does not hold any money in these instances and any money that is transferred to these scammers will be lost. Wired money, the type requested for the bogus shipping fee, is not traceable or returnable.

It comes back to the old adage--if it's too good to be true, then it probably is.

PayPal's advice: (as cited in a paper from WA ScamNet, accessed at http://www.docep.wa.gov.au/ConsumerProtection/scamnet/Scams/Online_car_sales_sca.html )

• -  Any genuine PayPal emails advising of the payment of funds into an account will not include caveats regarding additional payment transfers required to third-party organisations
• -  PayPal recommends that customers check their account balance by logging in securely at http://www.paypal.com.au/ and only completing transfer of goods on such items once payment is received into the account
• -  PayPal encourages customers to report suspicious e-mails to spoof@paypal.com
• -  PayPal also encourages customers to  visit its online security centre for additional tips on avoiding fraudulent scams.

Quote from the movie: Akeelah the Bee

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are we not to be?

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

Marianne Williamson

Photograph Copyright: Tracey Vale 2005

Plan now for Christmas 2011, By Tracey Vale

 

"I am amazed how many people put themselves in debt over Christmas," says Diana Mathew, author of the successful book and budgeting system, The Money Tree. She stresses the importance of planning ahead to ensure a debt-free Christmas for 2011.

 

"There are a few things you are going to have to do so that a merry December doesn't turn into a miserable May," she said.

 

For those in financial difficulty, she urges them to aim for a debt-free Christmas. Only spend what you can afford and replace gifts with a letter of love that can be cherished; or issue your own voucher for some odd jobs for an elderly person; or undertake some home-baking. Christmas is often a time of extra pressure and financial stress and it is at this time that rates of suicide and domestic violence increase, so it makes sense to keep the pressures to a minimum and don't spend, or incur debt, unnecessarily.

 

Mathews tips for a stress-free Christmas 2011:

 

• Make a list of all your expected expenditure for Christmas 2011. This would include writing down each person you are purchasing for and the amount you will spend on each; food and drinks; extras such as bon-bons, gift-wrap, decorations and so on; postage for gifts and cards that need to be sent; any other expenses you may incur at this time such as travel, telephone calls, clothing, costs of work functions, accommodation, activities you intend to do during the school holidays and anything else you may be required to pay for.

• If you have a large extended family, suggest placing everyone's name in a hat so that each person can pick out just one person to buy for with a specific limit on the amount you can spend.

 

• In place of one household footing the entire catering bill, suggest that each guest brings a dish. Pre-plan the menu and allocate appropriately.

 

• Total up all the amounts and calculate how many pay days you have until Christmas. Now divide the number of pay days into the total of your expected expenditure. For example, you plan to spend $2500 and there are 26 pay days until Christmas--you will therefore need to put aside $96 a week. Ask yourself "Can I afford this amount?' and if the answer is no, trim down your expenditure list.

 

"People who do the Christmas exercise are shocked by what they actually spend," said Mathews.

 

"The earlier you start saving for Christmas, the easier it will be on your budget because your weekly or fortnightly saving amount will be less."

 

For more information on managing your budget for financial freedom, or to purchase The Money Tree System, follow this link: http://www.mymoneytree.com.au/

Part 2: Recapturing children's freedom of play, By Tracey Vale

It's easy to say we should give our children more opportunity for free play, that is play without adult guidance or participation, but how do we do that? Having been brought up without the freedom of play of my former generation, it is a difficult thing to undertake. Also, we are in a time where children under the age of 12, and especially under the age of, say, nine, are not generally seen wandering around without an adult. Would we be seen as unfit parents to allow this when no-one else is? This discussion centres around children from 4 (as long as they have older siblings to take care of them) and under the age of 14.

Another obstacle is the fact that we hear about child abductions, rapes and so on and remember specific cases from when we were young. Louise Bell's abduction and the horrifying murder of little James Bulger come to mind. For my parents and many others, it was the highly publicised Beaumont children, aged 9, 7 and 4, whose disappearance from Adelaide's Glenelg Beach in 1966, remains an unsolved mystery today. It could even be argued that this case was a turning point in Australian history where free play is concerned.

We know that evil people are a minority, but we also know that something like this occurring is a very real possibility, albeit small. So, in allowing free play we need to be sensible and mindful of our own fears, but at the same time, not allow those fears to be a complete preventative to free play. I wouldn't send my children off to spend the day at the beach, for example, as, aside from the Beaumont fears, there is the added danger of misadventure. I also wouldn't send them off without my being available to them within walking distance, although there are circumstances where there would be an exception to this rule, such as leaving them at a roller-blading centre for the session.

One woman in the program  I mentioned in Part 1, sends her nine-year old son off on the subway in London to go to the other side of the city. He does this quite capably and has done several times. She says it has given him confidence and a sense of responsibility and capability. She has also received a great deal of flack, via her blog, for her free reign.

Now I'm not condoning this--and, personally, I think it's too young and it's too big a city, but there are ways of building up their confidence, resilience and strength of character without going to what might be considered an extreme. It's also important to consider the potential dangers and set the appropriate boundaries, ie, is there a lake in the area? Do you want them to use the public toilets on their own or confer with you first? It's also important that they know the dangers and keep their siblings or friends safe and stay together.

My way is to find a park that is big enough that you can be somewhere in it and not see them for most of the time. I decided on Cleland Wildlife Park for my first 'experiment'. This is fully fenced (for my peace of mind) but is a property of some 35 hectares. There are several areas to explore and there is a lake. It is a place big enough that they could become lost but would easily find their way back. As a bonus, they are given a map, which my eldest volunteers to be in charge of. If the park you choose doesn't have a map--I recommend you print one off from Google maps as it really added to their experience. The map was part of their exploration and formed part of the negotiation skills they required.

Now, I have to admit--my four kids, the youngest of which is four, have been there a few times before so the area isn't new to them (brave of me, I know, but, hey, you've got to start somewhere). I figure that this is better for them also because they won't be nervous about walking further and further away from where I have set up to do some research.

So they set off. The 12 year old has the map in hand and they've all agreed on where they'll go first. Good start. They've also got a watch so that they know when to come back and a bag of food for the animals. As they walk off, I wonder if the woman sitting at a nearby picnic table, thinks I'm irresponsible. We'll see.

An hour and a half later, they return, excited and jubilant that they have successfully found their way around and enjoyed themselves at the same time. They are beaming and talk excitedly about the animals they saw and fed. After a quick drink and snack, they take off again, in the opposite direction this time, to find the wombats and rock wallabies. On reflection, I think this is a great exercise as it helped them to work together. I think they realised that if they didn't co-operate with each other, that this would directly impinge on their experience as there was no adult to whinge to or to sort out squabbles. It was also good in that they planned their own experience and negotiated the best means. I will definitely do this again! (And not just because I got some work done!!)

Carrick Hill is another example of a great place to let the kids explore. This is a grand old mansion in the Adelaide foothills with sweeping landscaped grounds and large open, native areas. There are scrubby areas where they can play hide and seek, cowboys and Indians or ball games. There are boundaries to be set whereby they need to walk with care in the manicured garden area and near the small lake. There are also paths to explore with signposts from popular children's stories, such as Wind in the Willows and Charlotte's Web, requiring them to read and look for objects or answer questions. As mentioned before, I would print out a map and might even give them a picnic to manage themselves as this would require them to co-operate and negotiate amongst themselves as to who carries what, where they will have it and who does the serving.

Belair National Park is another option. This is very big, and has a lake, so I would mark a boundary on the map and issue a time limit for when they need to return. They could take scooters, balls, a Frisbee and some food for the ducks and decide amongst themselves what they want to do there. I'm not prepared to drop them off at a park and leave them--I would always be set up somewhere so that if something happened, they knew I was there and could return to me sooner if necessary.

So, promote free play. Your children will enjoy it and benefit immensely. They will feel enriched by the experience with a sense of being accomplished, responsible and trusted.

Copyright: Tracey Vale 2011